Ivor Bathroom, the Secretary, was unable to produce the minutes of the last meeting but as nobody could remember what had happened, or even when the last meeting was, it was agreed to take the minutes as read. Next agenda item was finance. Charlie Hotstuff, the Treasurer, at this point produced photos of his latest holiday in the Maldives and after everyone had looked at them offered to buy a round of drinks. Beer Festival Organiser Dora Mustard said she had contacted the Council about hiring the venue for the next Festival. Their response had been that after last year's headlines in the Pidley Evening News ("Real Ale Rowdies in Festival Orgy") we should never darken their doors again.

Agatha Liversalt, Social Secretary, informed the meeting that the recent coach trip had been a great success though none of the three people who went could remember where they'd been. At least, there were only three people when they got back - there was a vague recollection of more starting off.

Maurice Airworthy, Newsletter Editor, reported progress with the current libel actions. He was now confident that the financial damage could be restricted to six figures. He acknowledged that his description of the Winehouse Arms as "so evil it should be exorcised" was unnecessarily mealy-mouthed and he would return to more trenchant criticism in future.

The next time on the agenda was Campaigning. Billy moved next business which was agreed nem con.

At that point the sandwiches arrived and the meeting came to an abrupt halt as the real business of the evening was concluded.

No character above bears any relationship to any person living, dead or currently comatose. The fact that the village of Pidley is in the geographical centre of Cambridgeshire is purely coincidental and Cambridge Branch meetings do not (much) resemble the above account. Even so, why not come along to a meeting and see what they're really like - all are welcome.